#17: For my love, I wish I were born male; a man

Oleh -

I wish I were born male; a man,
even more so when I love.

I wish I were born male; a man,
even more so when I see the person I love
stand in front of the mirror
a few steps away from me,
taking selfies to their own liking,
tongue licking the bottom lip and
thumb clicking the button on the screen,
confident and carefree,
laughing and smiling so glee
and I, hopeless and helpless,
get shoved to the reality that
to my locked heart they are the key.

I wish I were born male; a man,
even more so when I see the person I love
run their fingers through their fluffy bleached hair,
when they adjust their glasses, when I see them read
in bed with their black cat nesting
on their lap and how I wish the cat
were me.

I wish I were born male; a man,
even more so when I see the person I love
travel around the world of books,
taking pictures of their to-be-read,
even more so when they laugh because of me,
when they present me a song
they have personally written,
performed on our balcony;
even more so when it is dusk
and I miss them terribly.

I wish I were born male; a man
even more so when on many occasions
in the presence of the person I love
my heart bursts into flames—
their eyes the keeper of the blazing longing
I feel and fear deep in me.
I feel the burn everywhere on my skin.
How dare I imagine it cease away
while I wish hell breaks loose when our eyes meet?

2022, March 27.